Today Task : To Start over again

6 December 2016 § Leave a comment

Every time people look at me at the eyes, I feel afraid that I will hurt them. I can look they eyes want to say to me, ” I expect a lot from you. I believe in you. I know you can grow up and become better.”

But, I keep saying, I don’t need that words. I need a mentor. Am I? I don’t know that I really need a mentor or I can become a mentor for myself.

Every time I feel down, I feel like, “God I don’t have any talent! I can’t do anything I want.” But am I? I keep questioning my faith. Am I don’t have a talent? How about the stairs that I already passed it? Is it not because of my talent? Then why I can go to up until today?

Maybe, that because I being stubborn to say, “I’m quite capable of doing anything I want!” What I said to myself is, ” no, I can’t do it. I’m not like them!”

Today, I believe “NOT BEING LIKE THEM” is the worst phrase in my life. Yes, I can’t be like them. They can’t be like me either. so what should I do? I must become myself. Love me is the most important goal for our life. Right?

Love myself is meaning to accept who you are and what is the best thing in your life.

Literally, I keep away from writing.why? I don’t know. But to be honest,  I still  have the best feeling when I think,” I WILL TO BE A GREAT WRITER SOMEDAY! I will write something that has a value to all the people. I don’t want they look at me as a writer, I want they look at me as the same person like them. I’m not perfect. But  I  can become brave and fearless to reach my dream and to born my child”

I stop writing, maybe because of my fear. I really afraid that i can’t write a good story. I afraid that the truth, I’m not born to be a writer. Maybe, i born to be something else. So silly right?  Even i have a dream book, which is how I become a writer. A success writer who can tell the story. Not just about the story, but more about a life. When they read about that, they can see their life. Not perfect!

Anyway, yesterday was not a good day for me. I keep asking myself questions about : what am i good in this life, what can i do to make myself more grow up, how i can achieve a target, how  much important that target i mad, etc.

Yes, i have a lot of question to answer for my life. So, today, i will find it & i must find it. I will continue my journey, also i will start over again in what i have done and in what i failed to do yesterday.

Because today is a future time. I create a new day, and i must make it better. Not just become a better day, but become an AWESOME DAY!


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